what to title this post. I am on the brink of starting the fourth week of medical school. Aaack! At times, I still can't believe I'm here. It's been such a long journey. I've been beating myself up because according to my "exacting standards" (as one friend of mine describes them) I didn't start on the right foot and everything hasn't been perfect (i.e. I have not been studying 24/7 and have not memorized every single muscle of the leg, its proixmal and distal attachments, its nerve innervations, and blood supply).
I just can't take things too seriously. Nothing is permanent and I am just a transient manifestation of love.
I want so badly a life that is devoid of emotional drama, the bain of my existence, but ... well, I have allowed it to follow me here. I wanted to start fresh and clean, but the familiar drama or rather my familiar emotional reactions are here with me. I feel like they are mocking me, those pesty feelings. I'm not sure how to shake them off, how to break old habits, but something tells me it's all up to me and in my power.
I just can't take things too seriously. Nothing is permanent and I am just a transient manifestation of love.
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